It’s Time To Retire

It’s time to retire this blog.  I feel that I’ve taken Dispatches from PDX through a dark time in my life, and now that I am emerging from the end of what has been a very depressing tunnel, I want to move on.  DofPDX has been an cathartic outlet for me to cry, vent, opine, cry, and mourn.  It has been company when I felt I had none, an ear to listen when everyone had become tired of hearing me speak.  It was my friend, my confidant, and sometimes, even my enemy.  I have posted things I should, and definitely posted things I shouldn’t.  This blog carried me through, and I’m grateful I had it in place when things became so incredibly rough that I could barely make it out of bed.  

The next step of my writing journey is unknown.   I have been toying around with the idea of a another blog, something fresh and new, that is free of the heartbreaks and burdens that DofPDX has witnessed.  There are a few concepts floating around in my noggin, and I hope to have something in place soon.

Until then, thank you to everyone who took the time to read my words, especially those who took the time to comment.  I hope some of these posts have helped anyone going through similar painful experiences.  I apologize to those who have been hurt by this blog, as that was never my intention.  It has always been easiest for me to express myself through prose, as sometimes the words leave me in real life verbal discourse. 

In light of her recent passing, I would like to end this blog with a quote from Maya Angelou.  I do realize that is a bit pretentious of me, but I feel like her words transcend time, space, race, culture, sex, age, and ethnicity.  Thank you again, dear readers, for being there with me through my recent journey. 

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again. 

Until we meet again ~ B





…Other people’s pregnancy announcements will no longer sting.

…I will be able to see a pregnant woman and not feel jealous.

…I will be able to look at babies and not feel an ache in my chest. 

…Passing by the baby section at any store will not make me feel bitter.

…I will feel peace again. 

…I will meet someone new.

…That person will actually, legitimately, genuinely fall in love with me. 

…That person will ask me to marry him. 

…That person and I will get married.

…I will be pregnant again.

…I will hold a baby in my arms.  

…I will have a family.



Yelling at Pigeons, Cheese Plates, and the Science of Love: Kickin’ Off the New Year Just Right

In 1971, Al Green asked the immortal question (originally written by the Bee Gees), “How can you mend a broken heart?”

This is a question that has been asked for millennia, and will continue to be asked for future generations, until the earth is wiped out by a meteor, zombie apocalypse, or climate change.

Love, an emotion that afflicts most normal people, can either be the best experience of one’s life or it can be the worst experience of one’s life.  What it is about this emotion that has the power to cause otherwise rational people to behave completely irrationally?  As someone who has experienced numerous heart breaks, I’ve done my homework.  The science behind love and it’s ability to cause infinite joy or pain is interesting.

First, let’s look at falling in love:

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